Tal’s First Night/Nursery

After a few hours of our sweet baby’s birth, we were all moved to a room on the postpartum unit. Both Alice and I wanted to stay together as much as possible. The five of us (Dan, Alice, Gordon, me, and baby) stayed together and received visitors, according to how Alice was feeling. Of course we were all on a high, and visitors were welcome.

I wanted to give Alice and Dan the room to themselves for the night, so they could get some good sleep. The staff set Gordon and I up in a room. The room was not set up for patients; it didn’t have any heat or call lights, so Gordon and I took turns thru the night in the nursery with the baby. Whoever was not with the baby in the nursery got a few hours of sleep.

Metallic was having a little trouble with the extra fluid he had swallowed, so we didn’t feel comfortable just leaving him in the nursery. He seemed to choke easy. We wanted to be able to be right there for him, because we were having to suction out his mouth quite frequently.

Plus, I didn’t want to leave him at all, but it was nice to have daddy there with him so I could get some rest.

Skin To Skin/Bonding Time

At my request, the nurses had previously set up some curtains to give Alice privacy while she was pushing, and Gordon & I privacy so we could do skin-to-skin with the baby.

Gordon was able to be present during most of the labor. During birth, while Alice was pushing, he was behind the curtains to give her privacy. He wasn’t able to be in the room when I had Destynee, so he never had a chance to see labor or experience the birth of a baby.
Alice allowed him to experience it thru his ears and emotions. He was overwhelmed with the whole experience. There was a very intense, beautiful feeling in the room, and he could feel it.

Here I came, holding our baby boy! He was perfect! A normal, healthy baby!!! Daddy and mommy were able to do skin-to-skin, and the staff left us alone with him for the most part. He was having a little struggle coughing and throwing-up some fluid that he had swallowed. After he got most of it up, I was able to nurse him. He latched right on!!! I couldn’t believe a brand-new baby already knew how to nurse. I felt so much joy!!! I got to have a very different experience with him, then I had had with Destynee.

A healthy, full-term, beautiful, baby boy!!! Thank you Alice, Thank you!!!

Overload of Emotions!

As my beautiful baby boy entered the world, I had a complete visual of a baby elephant. What??? He was enormous, 9.9lbs!!! His head came out, and then each limb came out, one at a time. Arm, arm…Leg, leg…. It was like he was too big to come out all at once. It was awesome!!! What a thrill!!
But poor baby mamma, ouch!!!

All at once, the tears I had been holding back for 30 hours, came pouring out. I felt euphoric and stunned all at the same time. I didn’t feel completely in my body. I was in shock!

I cut the cord, and they put him on baby mamma’s belly to clean him off. I had to get to Alice….. I wrapped my arms around her and we both cried our eyes out…. I was pretty hysterical!!! Emotional overload!!!!

The doctor immediately gave me my baby, and the nurse guided me to the chair. Waiting for me behind the curtains, was daddy, anxiously waiting to see his new baby boy!

Miracle Number Two!

After 30 hours of long, hard labor, my second miracle arrived! It’s a boy!!! Gordon Metallic, miracle number two!!!

After 28 hours, we were all exhausted, but nobody could complain. We knew that our exhaustion couldn’t touch the exhaustion, Alice, our wonderful baby mamma, felt….. And now it was time to push! She had given it all she had, and now had to give some more… WOW! She is so strong, and did such an amazing job.

It was torcher for me to watch her go thru all of it. I so badly wanted to take all the pain from her, and wished that I could trade her places. She was going thru all this for me, and I did not want her to have a bad experience. I tried to hold back the tears, and the guilt I felt for putting her thru this. Yet, I knew in my heart that she chose this experience, and I had to be okay with it.
There was nothing I could do to change it at this point; all I could do was help her thru it. Alice had her wonderful husband, our sister as a coach, our hypnobirthing instructor, my husband, and myself during her labor for support. We made an excellent team, but Alice made it all possible.

It was truly a beautiful experience, and I feel honored that she allowed me to be at the birth. I got to be a part of the birth of my second miracle, Gordon Metallic.

My Trusted OB Is Leaving!!!/Learning To Trust Again

We saw our OB doctor yesterday. He checked Alice to see how far she was dilated. He said, “Um.. I’ll give you a 1 if you want”. She’s maybe a 1 on dilation and not effaced at all! What? I thought she would at least be a 3…???

The important one, Baby mamma, said, “I won’t be surprised if I go over, I feel too good!”
Well, as long as she is comfortable and content, then I’m great waiting a little longer. Hopefully, she can stay comfortable until her and baby are ready.

Dr. Draper said he wouldn’t be surprised if she was still pregnant when he got back in town. He also told us that, being selfish, he really hoped that Alice would still be pregnant so he could be there.

Back in town!!! What the hell did that mean? Our OB, kindly let us know that he was going to be leaving out-of-town ON our due date, and wouldn’t be back for nine days. What the hell kind of timing is that!!

My mind started spinning in way too many directions. A lot could happen!…. I needed him there!!!
Having Dr. Draper at the delivery, was of the utmost importance to me!!! It is a MUST!!!

I tried to talk him out of going, but unfortunately, it was work related and he had to go. He reassured me that he would communicate to the OB team all the birth plan details, as well as the legalities of the unique surrogacy situation. He told me that the most important things, was for baby mamma and my baby to be safe, and that they would be under great care.

Nothing he said comforted me at all! I could not believe this was happening. Why is this such a big deal?? I felt frantic!!!

After we left, I was able to talk to Alice about it. She’s such an amazing support for me!
I realized that the desperate feelings of needing him there, was coming from my previous experience with my hysterectomy.
After my hysterectomy, I had a lot of thoughts about whether the doctors did everything they could to save my uterus.
Because I knew Dr. Draper, and I KNEW that he did everything he could to save it, those thoughts were alot less intense and didn’t have the power to completely drown me in my sorrows. I had a great relationship with him during my pregnancy with Destynee, and after that, he continued to be an important source of support for me.

I only had the hysterectomy experience to compare to this experience, and I felt scared that another doctor wouldn’t do everything they could to make this experience great.

Well, once again I could not control the situation and got another opportunity to put my trust in God. I knew that He would handle it, and asked that He would allow whatever was in the best interest for everyone involved to happen.

10 more days!!! Jeeze! I am so READY!!! On the other hand, that would mean Dr. Draper would be there, sweet!!! We’ve been working on this pregnancy since June `09, so what’s one more week or 10 days……We can do this!

I Want To Nurse My Baby/Started Pumping

I want to nurse my baby, and the lactation specialist that I’m working with told me I had a good chance of making it happen!!! She said I should start getting drops of milk in by two weeks. I am amazed that it’s even a possibility!

I’ve been taking lots of herbs (fenugreek, blessed thistle, mother’s milk tea, alfalfa, red raspberry tea) for over four weeks now, and started on a medication (Reglan) a week ago.

I’ve also been pumping for over three weeks now 8-10 times a day, every two hours for 15-20 minutes each time. Ouch! Oh my hell, ouch!
And nothing, no milk!

What the heck am I doing wrong? My baby’s due tomorrow, and I don’t have any milk for him….

I’m really trying not to stress about it, cuz I know that doesn’t help at all. I just wish I was getting something out, anything at all would at least let me know that I have a chance.

I don’t know if I should give up or wait and see if my baby, the real thing, can help bring it in…????

Big Baby/Breech

Because Alice has done so well through the pregnancy, we have managed to skip several doctor appointments. It has been very nice, because we both live 30-45 minutes away from the hospital in different directions and it’s sometimes challenging to find baby sitters. She’s so amazing!!!

At the last appointment, because of where the baby’s heart beat was, the doctor thought he was still breech. The nurse was a little concerned, and said that where the baby is at 36 weeks, is typically where he’ll stay. She assured us that he could still turn, and that he had pleanty of time. Turn baby, turn. Face down, go to the light!

Our next and last ultrasound will be at 38 weeks. The OB is a little concerned that the baby will be too big to deliver vaginally. He says that if baby Gordon looks like he’s going to be over 10 pounds, then we may have to do a c-section. I personally think he will weigh about 8.6 lbs. Mother’s instinct….We’ll see!!!

Glucose Results/Shopping

Ok, so we finally got the results of Baby Mamma’s glucose test. It’s been a bit of a big deal, because my baby at the last appointment, measured 2 1/2 weeks older than he is! WOW….Anyway, she does not have maternal diabetes. YEAH!
I was so relieved, and I’m sure she was too. It’s so nice not to have to worry about anything else. The doctor was a lil’ concerned, that if the baby is too big, she may have to have another c-section. Well, he’s big, but hopefully not too big!

We went shopping for Alice a few months ago, and she says some of the shirts are starting to look like belly shirts. CUTE!
I guess we get to go again. Maternity shopping is the best, cuz prego women look cute in everything.

Needing to Control

Alice came up to stay the weekend with us again! We’re so lucky! Well, I scheduled her to have her glucose test done while she was up here and had a baby-sitter. When we got over there, the lab gave us some bull-shit story about how,… when I called to set up the appointment, the number goes to their main office. And the main office doesn’t know that they close early on Saturday, so they wouldn’t take us. GRRRRR….

I felt so bad. I just want everything to be perfect, and the harder I try, the more it isn’t. You would think I’d learn by now, that it’s out of my hands and I just need to trust God. He has made it absolutely prefect up to this point.

Alice is so cool about everything, she just goes with the flow. It’s good for me to keep learning from her. It really wasn’t a big deal once I chilled out about it. LOL

Fears/Dreams

I had a dream the other day:

I heard through the grapevine that Alice was having problems and was up at the hospital. It had been about four hours before I heard anything. I didn’t know what problems she was having, or if the baby was even alive. I remember feeling scarred and upset that she didn’t tell me, and confused because it somehow didn’t feel like my business.
It took me forever to find out where she was, and what was really going on. At this point in the dream, I didn’t know any details. I felt like I was panicking and running around, but not getting anywhere. (That seriously was most of the dream; you know, the dream that never ends).
All of a sudden, I was up at the hospital, and I had the baby in my belly. The doctors said I needed to carry it until Alice could get better. They said that I would only be able to handle carrying him for a week or two because of my heart. Alice was upset and disappointed that she had failed me. I reassured her that it was okay and actually a blessing because I got to experience carrying the baby for awhile. We were there for each other and comforting each other. I remember feeling him move and kick alot. It was amazing!

At first, I didn’t think much of the dream. After talking about it, I realized that all my fears were jam-packed in a long, confusing dream. Part of me, wants to stay out of her life/business. I have to remind myself that this part of her life is my life and business, at least for now. I am also very afraid of missing the birth and not being there for Alice and my baby. Obviously I long to carry and feel the baby inside me, so if it’s thru a dream that I get to experience it, then bring it on!

All the little things that have been different or weird about this pregnancy, played out in the dream. Interesting….