Putting my blog on hold for a min.

I have been enjoying my new baby so much, and I’ve try to still find time for my beautiful daughter and wonderful husband, which has been challenging.

I need to put my blog on hold for a while, and I’ll have to catch up on it later.

Thanks for all your support on this. It has truly been an amazing journey!

Adjusting/Transitioning

Although, I was busy adjusting to my new baby, it still felt weird not to have Alice and Dan with us. I was worried about how she was doing with everything.

Fortunately, Alice came to stay with my favorite Aunt Faye for two weeks, and she happens to live right by us. Alice and I were both so grateful that we could be close and hang out whenever we wanted. We did see alot of each other over the next few days, which hopefully made the transition easier for all of us.

I have asked Alice how she’s feeling physically AND emotionally, every single day. Every single day, she said she feels way better than she thought she would, emotionally. She had done alot of prep-work, and kept her mind right where it needed to be.
Physically, she struggles a little, but as always, has a great attitude about it.

Sharing Everything/Togetherness

The next day, Alice insisted that we come back and share the room. It really made it a nice transition. Neither of us wanted to be apart for very long.

We got more visitors, and loved every minute of it. The baby started doing alot better, and I felt comfortable to go home with him. Alice wanted to stay another night, and we weren’t in any hurry to leave Baby Mamma or Dan. We stayed all day with them, and Gordon went out to get Cafe Rio for dinner. We were all sick of hospital food. Uuugg…

Gordon Metallic was discharged, and we left with our new baby around 6pm.

Skin To Skin/Bonding Time

At my request, the nurses had previously set up some curtains to give Alice privacy while she was pushing, and Gordon & I privacy so we could do skin-to-skin with the baby.

Gordon was able to be present during most of the labor. During birth, while Alice was pushing, he was behind the curtains to give her privacy. He wasn’t able to be in the room when I had Destynee, so he never had a chance to see labor or experience the birth of a baby.
Alice allowed him to experience it thru his ears and emotions. He was overwhelmed with the whole experience. There was a very intense, beautiful feeling in the room, and he could feel it.

Here I came, holding our baby boy! He was perfect! A normal, healthy baby!!! Daddy and mommy were able to do skin-to-skin, and the staff left us alone with him for the most part. He was having a little struggle coughing and throwing-up some fluid that he had swallowed. After he got most of it up, I was able to nurse him. He latched right on!!! I couldn’t believe a brand-new baby already knew how to nurse. I felt so much joy!!! I got to have a very different experience with him, then I had had with Destynee.

A healthy, full-term, beautiful, baby boy!!! Thank you Alice, Thank you!!!

Overload of Emotions!

As my beautiful baby boy entered the world, I had a complete visual of a baby elephant. What??? He was enormous, 9.9lbs!!! His head came out, and then each limb came out, one at a time. Arm, arm…Leg, leg…. It was like he was too big to come out all at once. It was awesome!!! What a thrill!!
But poor baby mamma, ouch!!!

All at once, the tears I had been holding back for 30 hours, came pouring out. I felt euphoric and stunned all at the same time. I didn’t feel completely in my body. I was in shock!

I cut the cord, and they put him on baby mamma’s belly to clean him off. I had to get to Alice….. I wrapped my arms around her and we both cried our eyes out…. I was pretty hysterical!!! Emotional overload!!!!

The doctor immediately gave me my baby, and the nurse guided me to the chair. Waiting for me behind the curtains, was daddy, anxiously waiting to see his new baby boy!

Miracle Number Two!

After 30 hours of long, hard labor, my second miracle arrived! It’s a boy!!! Gordon Metallic, miracle number two!!!

After 28 hours, we were all exhausted, but nobody could complain. We knew that our exhaustion couldn’t touch the exhaustion, Alice, our wonderful baby mamma, felt….. And now it was time to push! She had given it all she had, and now had to give some more… WOW! She is so strong, and did such an amazing job.

It was torcher for me to watch her go thru all of it. I so badly wanted to take all the pain from her, and wished that I could trade her places. She was going thru all this for me, and I did not want her to have a bad experience. I tried to hold back the tears, and the guilt I felt for putting her thru this. Yet, I knew in my heart that she chose this experience, and I had to be okay with it.
There was nothing I could do to change it at this point; all I could do was help her thru it. Alice had her wonderful husband, our sister as a coach, our hypnobirthing instructor, my husband, and myself during her labor for support. We made an excellent team, but Alice made it all possible.

It was truly a beautiful experience, and I feel honored that she allowed me to be at the birth. I got to be a part of the birth of my second miracle, Gordon Metallic.

Drops of Colostrum!!!

I asked God out of completely desperation and frustration, to give me any sign that all my pumping and hard dedication was not in vain. I needed to know that I had a chance of nursing my baby.

After almost four weeks of taking several herbs, a drug, manual expression, and pumping every two hours, I finally got drops of colostrum!!!! 🙂

I usually can get a drop when I express manually, and one or two drops out with each pumping session.
It’s a start! WAHOOO!!!!

My Trusted OB Is Leaving!!!/Learning To Trust Again

We saw our OB doctor yesterday. He checked Alice to see how far she was dilated. He said, “Um.. I’ll give you a 1 if you want”. She’s maybe a 1 on dilation and not effaced at all! What? I thought she would at least be a 3…???

The important one, Baby mamma, said, “I won’t be surprised if I go over, I feel too good!”
Well, as long as she is comfortable and content, then I’m great waiting a little longer. Hopefully, she can stay comfortable until her and baby are ready.

Dr. Draper said he wouldn’t be surprised if she was still pregnant when he got back in town. He also told us that, being selfish, he really hoped that Alice would still be pregnant so he could be there.

Back in town!!! What the hell did that mean? Our OB, kindly let us know that he was going to be leaving out-of-town ON our due date, and wouldn’t be back for nine days. What the hell kind of timing is that!!

My mind started spinning in way too many directions. A lot could happen!…. I needed him there!!!
Having Dr. Draper at the delivery, was of the utmost importance to me!!! It is a MUST!!!

I tried to talk him out of going, but unfortunately, it was work related and he had to go. He reassured me that he would communicate to the OB team all the birth plan details, as well as the legalities of the unique surrogacy situation. He told me that the most important things, was for baby mamma and my baby to be safe, and that they would be under great care.

Nothing he said comforted me at all! I could not believe this was happening. Why is this such a big deal?? I felt frantic!!!

After we left, I was able to talk to Alice about it. She’s such an amazing support for me!
I realized that the desperate feelings of needing him there, was coming from my previous experience with my hysterectomy.
After my hysterectomy, I had a lot of thoughts about whether the doctors did everything they could to save my uterus.
Because I knew Dr. Draper, and I KNEW that he did everything he could to save it, those thoughts were alot less intense and didn’t have the power to completely drown me in my sorrows. I had a great relationship with him during my pregnancy with Destynee, and after that, he continued to be an important source of support for me.

I only had the hysterectomy experience to compare to this experience, and I felt scared that another doctor wouldn’t do everything they could to make this experience great.

Well, once again I could not control the situation and got another opportunity to put my trust in God. I knew that He would handle it, and asked that He would allow whatever was in the best interest for everyone involved to happen.

10 more days!!! Jeeze! I am so READY!!! On the other hand, that would mean Dr. Draper would be there, sweet!!! We’ve been working on this pregnancy since June `09, so what’s one more week or 10 days……We can do this!

I Want To Nurse My Baby/Started Pumping

I want to nurse my baby, and the lactation specialist that I’m working with told me I had a good chance of making it happen!!! She said I should start getting drops of milk in by two weeks. I am amazed that it’s even a possibility!

I’ve been taking lots of herbs (fenugreek, blessed thistle, mother’s milk tea, alfalfa, red raspberry tea) for over four weeks now, and started on a medication (Reglan) a week ago.

I’ve also been pumping for over three weeks now 8-10 times a day, every two hours for 15-20 minutes each time. Ouch! Oh my hell, ouch!
And nothing, no milk!

What the heck am I doing wrong? My baby’s due tomorrow, and I don’t have any milk for him….

I’m really trying not to stress about it, cuz I know that doesn’t help at all. I just wish I was getting something out, anything at all would at least let me know that I have a chance.

I don’t know if I should give up or wait and see if my baby, the real thing, can help bring it in…????

Pure Excitement!!!!/What A Blessing!

As I sat with the vision of having one baby, I became overwhelmed with gratitude. It was absolutely perfect!!! God knows what we can handle. My heart will do way better with only one baby to care for, I can include my daughter easier with one, and baby mamma will be more likely to carry the baby full-term and care for her twins easier. And we got one!!!

Plus, before we knew how many babies we would have, I had decided that it would be too stressful for me to try to nurse twins; mostly because I didn’t know if my heart could handle being up with twins all thru the nights. With nursing, it’s harder for the daddy to help take care of the baby.
Now that we were only having one baby, I was very excited to hopefully be able to nurse my baby and have that bonding time.

After the incredibly long, hard, invitro-surrogate process, we got pregnant! We’re going to have a baby!!!

THANK YOU, THANK YOU, GOD!!! WHAT A MIRACLE!!!

WE AGAIN GET THE OPPORTUNITY TO HAVE ANOTHER MIRACLE OF GOD IN OUR LIVES!!!!!!!