Baby Gordon

So as you know, we are planning to name our baby, Gordon Metallic. We have been calling him Tal, because that’s what Destynee started calling him and I love it!

Alice and her twin girls, call him, Baby Gordon. She says it helps her identify him with his daddy, Gordon, and helps her remember that it’s our baby.

It’s amazing to me how much everything works out so perfectly, even down to his name!

22 Weeks…/Is That All?

Well Baby Mamma is doing better than ever. She feels great and looks amazing! She says my little guy is moving like crazy. She says I’m in for it, because he’s so freakin active….Bring it on! I’m so excited!

We have an appointment in a week and a half, but no ultrasound. At our last appointment, our doctor started her on progesterone shots. Because she had pre-term labor with her twins, she is higher risk for pre-term again. The progesterone shots decrease the risk by 50%. The shots are weekly, but inch and a half inch needle right in the ass. OW!! Again, her sweet husband Dan, is there for her.

They are the perfect couple for surrogacy, and they couldn’t be more fun to be with through this. Love you guys!

Little Dani’s Discovery

Before we knew if the baby was a boy or girl, Alice posted this comment:

This morning, as I was sitting on the couch with Dani, the baby started kicking. I decided to ask Dani if she knew there was a baby in my tummy (I haven’t said anything about the baby until now). She lifted up my shirt and said “ya”. I asked her if the baby is a girl or a boy she said “girl”. I then told her it is going to be Destynee’s sister just like she has a sister, she just calmly said “oh, ok”.

Baby Mama

Our Three Girls

Part of the decision to begin this surrogate journey, was to make sure it would be a great experience for everyone involved. Dan and Alice have 2 1/2 year old twin girls, and I have my 3 year old daughter Destynee. It was very important that we timed it just right; that the three girls were old enough, that the pregnancy (for Alice), and having a baby (for me), would not take away from the care and attention that the girls needed from their mommies. It is also important they eventually know the truth, when they are old enough to understand the whole process and see the gift in it.

The three girls are still young enough to be okay with the process, and hopefully won’t be emotionally effected. By talking to all three of them about it, and preparing them for the reality of it, we are hoping that the twins won’t have to wonder, “why their mommy is giving away their baby?”, and for Destynee, “why mommy can’t have her own baby?” They all three seem to be very okay with what’s going on up to this point, and there doesn’t seem to be any confusion in thier minds about it.

Destynee seems to understand enough to be very excited and vocal about it all. She always talks about our baby boy, and about being a big sister. “When he gets big enough, he’s going to pop out of Alice’s belly. I’m going to help my mommy take care of him.” She asks A-Alice if she can feel the baby, and seems to be very comfortable with it.

Dan and Alice’s Success Thru Invitrofertalization (IVF)

I had wondered if they had ever tried IVF. After pondering for months whether I should mind my business or chance digging up her painful past, my wanting to help, got the best of me. I brought it up one day, and she said they had thought about it, but didn’t know whether it was right, or even how to persue it. One of the struggles that they were faced with, was old beliefs and traditions of his family. Some of his family believed that any child conceived with any additional assistance, was not “a child of God”. Some believed that if a couple wasn’t able to get pregnant on their own, they were not supposed to have any children. Dan and Alice had the opportunity to choose whether they needed those same beliefs, or whether they wanted to create their own.

The gift that there may be another chance, and the desire to desperately become a mother, gave her another glimpse of hope. She inquisitively and hesitantly asked me about the process and how it all worked. I gave her some information, and numbers to local IVF centers. I remember asking her about it a few weeks later, and she said that she had put in calls and left messages, but hadn’t heard back from anybody yet. I wanted to call the IVF center up that very second, but didn’t want to interfere in Dan and Alice’s life and cause more heartache, if it was not something that would work for them. Being a nurse, I realized the importance of being assertive with the medical profession and explained that to her. I told her to keep calling until she got an answer, and not to give up if it was something that she wanted.

After several months of trying, thru the grace of God and the support of their families, Dan and Alice were able to conceive for the first time. She was not only pregnant, but was pregnant with twin girls. She was only able to carry them for 29 weeks, and absolutely loved every minute of the pregnancy. She was more than grateful to have them here and healthy, but felt that the pregnancy ended way to soon. She was just starting to feel them move and after having them, was terrified that she may never get to experience it again.

They are now a month away from being three years old, and are more amazing than ever!!!

Dyllan Empryss & Dani Nevaeh

3-D Video of Baby/Connection

Alice had told me about a website with information about the growth and development of a baby thru pregnancy. It’s called Baby Center. She used it with her twins, and loved it!

It took me awhile to sign up, because I hate getting junk emails and more than that, I didn’t quite know enough about it. It’s crazy and stupid how anything new or unknown is scary. What’s that all about….?

Anyway, I was looking at the website with Destynee, and found a link that showed several 3-D videos of the baby every week of the pregnancy. It was sooo freakin` awesome!!! She loved it, and asked to see it over and over again.

When Gordon got home, she asked if we could watch it with daddy. He loved it and wanted to watch each video.
Pretty soon, me and Destynee were surrounded by daddy, uncles, grandma, and grandpa. We all gazed in amazement of the miracle of life, and were especially interested in the stage of our own baby at 17 weeks. Here’s the link, it’s very cool.

Everyone expressed feeling a strong connection with our baby, and all felt like we were watching our baby grow right before our eyes.
We are all God’s miracles.

Waiting, Waiting, Waiting………..

Alice was still nursing her twin girls, and made it clear that she didn’t know how much longer she wanted to nurse them. She had waited 10 years for those girls and didn’t want to rush anything. She told us she would let us know when she was ready to start the surrogate process. I admired her for making sure every step worked for her, and was timed just right.

I continually wondered if we made the right decision, and I couldn’t wrap my brain around the fact that, in a few months, we may be in the middle of a surrogate experience. I didn’t know what that looked like, and it was exciting and terrifying all at the same time!

The Crazys came back to visit me, but this time with much less intensity. I started obsessing over details. I wanted to have started the process already and her be pregnant already…I was worried that Destynee would be too old to really connect with the baby, and that they wouldn’t be friends when they were older. I kept asking Gordon, “when is she going to be ready? It’s driving me crazy waiting”. I thought that she would wait too long and then want to be pregnant with her own baby. I was obsessively waiting for something I didn’t think would happen anyway………..

I wanted to abort the whole thing, and we hadn’t even started. I felt it was the only way to return to my happy life with my perfect little family. I was loosing myself again, and I didn’t know how to stop………