*Liquid Gold*/Breast Milk

Baby Mamma is even pumping for baby Gordon, so he can be healthy. She says it’s kinda his milk anyway. Cute huh? She has also been able to supply a few other babies with great, healthy milk!

I am still pumping and nursing my little heart out, with only drops of liquid gold. I’m trying really damn hard to be grateful for what I am getting, but so freakn frustrating. Breathe……………

I’m actually starting to notice a sight increase in milk. I try to focus on how amazing it is that I can even produce milk.

Also, my sweet angel LOVES to nurse, and has been extremely patient with me. I figure if he can keep working with me so patiently, than I will nurse him as long as he wants. Even if he’s not getting a ton of milk from me. Love you, babe!

Adjusting/Transitioning

Although, I was busy adjusting to my new baby, it still felt weird not to have Alice and Dan with us. I was worried about how she was doing with everything.

Fortunately, Alice came to stay with my favorite Aunt Faye for two weeks, and she happens to live right by us. Alice and I were both so grateful that we could be close and hang out whenever we wanted. We did see alot of each other over the next few days, which hopefully made the transition easier for all of us.

I have asked Alice how she’s feeling physically AND emotionally, every single day. Every single day, she said she feels way better than she thought she would, emotionally. She had done alot of prep-work, and kept her mind right where it needed to be.
Physically, she struggles a little, but as always, has a great attitude about it.

Sharing Everything/Togetherness

The next day, Alice insisted that we come back and share the room. It really made it a nice transition. Neither of us wanted to be apart for very long.

We got more visitors, and loved every minute of it. The baby started doing alot better, and I felt comfortable to go home with him. Alice wanted to stay another night, and we weren’t in any hurry to leave Baby Mamma or Dan. We stayed all day with them, and Gordon went out to get Cafe Rio for dinner. We were all sick of hospital food. Uuugg…

Gordon Metallic was discharged, and we left with our new baby around 6pm.

Tal’s First Night/Nursery

After a few hours of our sweet baby’s birth, we were all moved to a room on the postpartum unit. Both Alice and I wanted to stay together as much as possible. The five of us (Dan, Alice, Gordon, me, and baby) stayed together and received visitors, according to how Alice was feeling. Of course we were all on a high, and visitors were welcome.

I wanted to give Alice and Dan the room to themselves for the night, so they could get some good sleep. The staff set Gordon and I up in a room. The room was not set up for patients; it didn’t have any heat or call lights, so Gordon and I took turns thru the night in the nursery with the baby. Whoever was not with the baby in the nursery got a few hours of sleep.

Metallic was having a little trouble with the extra fluid he had swallowed, so we didn’t feel comfortable just leaving him in the nursery. He seemed to choke easy. We wanted to be able to be right there for him, because we were having to suction out his mouth quite frequently.

Plus, I didn’t want to leave him at all, but it was nice to have daddy there with him so I could get some rest.

Skin To Skin/Bonding Time

At my request, the nurses had previously set up some curtains to give Alice privacy while she was pushing, and Gordon & I privacy so we could do skin-to-skin with the baby.

Gordon was able to be present during most of the labor. During birth, while Alice was pushing, he was behind the curtains to give her privacy. He wasn’t able to be in the room when I had Destynee, so he never had a chance to see labor or experience the birth of a baby.
Alice allowed him to experience it thru his ears and emotions. He was overwhelmed with the whole experience. There was a very intense, beautiful feeling in the room, and he could feel it.

Here I came, holding our baby boy! He was perfect! A normal, healthy baby!!! Daddy and mommy were able to do skin-to-skin, and the staff left us alone with him for the most part. He was having a little struggle coughing and throwing-up some fluid that he had swallowed. After he got most of it up, I was able to nurse him. He latched right on!!! I couldn’t believe a brand-new baby already knew how to nurse. I felt so much joy!!! I got to have a very different experience with him, then I had had with Destynee.

A healthy, full-term, beautiful, baby boy!!! Thank you Alice, Thank you!!!

Our New Arrival!!! Gordon Metallic!

Weighed a whapin’ 9 pounds 9 ounces and 21 inches long!

Gordon Metallic

Me and my new baby boy!

Destynee and Lil’ Brother, Tal

As you can imagine, I haven’t had time to blog. I will give details when I get a min.

Lovin’ it!!!

Overload of Emotions!

As my beautiful baby boy entered the world, I had a complete visual of a baby elephant. What??? He was enormous, 9.9lbs!!! His head came out, and then each limb came out, one at a time. Arm, arm…Leg, leg…. It was like he was too big to come out all at once. It was awesome!!! What a thrill!!
But poor baby mamma, ouch!!!

All at once, the tears I had been holding back for 30 hours, came pouring out. I felt euphoric and stunned all at the same time. I didn’t feel completely in my body. I was in shock!

I cut the cord, and they put him on baby mamma’s belly to clean him off. I had to get to Alice….. I wrapped my arms around her and we both cried our eyes out…. I was pretty hysterical!!! Emotional overload!!!!

The doctor immediately gave me my baby, and the nurse guided me to the chair. Waiting for me behind the curtains, was daddy, anxiously waiting to see his new baby boy!

Miracle Number Two!

After 30 hours of long, hard labor, my second miracle arrived! It’s a boy!!! Gordon Metallic, miracle number two!!!

After 28 hours, we were all exhausted, but nobody could complain. We knew that our exhaustion couldn’t touch the exhaustion, Alice, our wonderful baby mamma, felt….. And now it was time to push! She had given it all she had, and now had to give some more… WOW! She is so strong, and did such an amazing job.

It was torcher for me to watch her go thru all of it. I so badly wanted to take all the pain from her, and wished that I could trade her places. She was going thru all this for me, and I did not want her to have a bad experience. I tried to hold back the tears, and the guilt I felt for putting her thru this. Yet, I knew in my heart that she chose this experience, and I had to be okay with it.
There was nothing I could do to change it at this point; all I could do was help her thru it. Alice had her wonderful husband, our sister as a coach, our hypnobirthing instructor, my husband, and myself during her labor for support. We made an excellent team, but Alice made it all possible.

It was truly a beautiful experience, and I feel honored that she allowed me to be at the birth. I got to be a part of the birth of my second miracle, Gordon Metallic.

Dreams/Seeing Through To My Baby

Baby mamma had a dream the other day. She said she could see through her belly and see my baby. She could see his fingers, toes, and all the details of his cute little face! He had lots of dark, black hair, and she said he was smiling, almost looked like a giggle. So damn cute!!!

Of course he was smiling, he’s so content to just keep hanging out in this blissful, warm, safe, loving environment. Who can blame him?

Alice said the dream reminded her of an Anne Geddes’ picture, and she gave me a great idea for one. She wants me to find some cute see-thru material, and put my baby under, folded up, as if he were in my belly. That is, if he ever gets here. 🙂

If I can’t actually be pregnant, why not pretend?

My Trusted OB Is Leaving!!!/Learning To Trust Again

We saw our OB doctor yesterday. He checked Alice to see how far she was dilated. He said, “Um.. I’ll give you a 1 if you want”. She’s maybe a 1 on dilation and not effaced at all! What? I thought she would at least be a 3…???

The important one, Baby mamma, said, “I won’t be surprised if I go over, I feel too good!”
Well, as long as she is comfortable and content, then I’m great waiting a little longer. Hopefully, she can stay comfortable until her and baby are ready.

Dr. Draper said he wouldn’t be surprised if she was still pregnant when he got back in town. He also told us that, being selfish, he really hoped that Alice would still be pregnant so he could be there.

Back in town!!! What the hell did that mean? Our OB, kindly let us know that he was going to be leaving out-of-town ON our due date, and wouldn’t be back for nine days. What the hell kind of timing is that!!

My mind started spinning in way too many directions. A lot could happen!…. I needed him there!!!
Having Dr. Draper at the delivery, was of the utmost importance to me!!! It is a MUST!!!

I tried to talk him out of going, but unfortunately, it was work related and he had to go. He reassured me that he would communicate to the OB team all the birth plan details, as well as the legalities of the unique surrogacy situation. He told me that the most important things, was for baby mamma and my baby to be safe, and that they would be under great care.

Nothing he said comforted me at all! I could not believe this was happening. Why is this such a big deal?? I felt frantic!!!

After we left, I was able to talk to Alice about it. She’s such an amazing support for me!
I realized that the desperate feelings of needing him there, was coming from my previous experience with my hysterectomy.
After my hysterectomy, I had a lot of thoughts about whether the doctors did everything they could to save my uterus.
Because I knew Dr. Draper, and I KNEW that he did everything he could to save it, those thoughts were alot less intense and didn’t have the power to completely drown me in my sorrows. I had a great relationship with him during my pregnancy with Destynee, and after that, he continued to be an important source of support for me.

I only had the hysterectomy experience to compare to this experience, and I felt scared that another doctor wouldn’t do everything they could to make this experience great.

Well, once again I could not control the situation and got another opportunity to put my trust in God. I knew that He would handle it, and asked that He would allow whatever was in the best interest for everyone involved to happen.

10 more days!!! Jeeze! I am so READY!!! On the other hand, that would mean Dr. Draper would be there, sweet!!! We’ve been working on this pregnancy since June `09, so what’s one more week or 10 days……We can do this!