The Embryo Transfer!!!/We made it!!!

(I knew that there was still a chance that none of the embryos would attach and survive, and that if they didn’t, the 7 month long, excruciating process and 40k would be lost…..)

The room we were in had a big screen TV in it, and in the next room were our little want-to-be-babies. The tech magnified what was going on in the next room, and they had it up on the screen so we could see. As he syringed each embryo up, along with the fluid they were in, I had butterflies throughout my body and wanted to scream with excitement!!! Calmly, I watch as he brought them into the doctor, and the doctor transferred my three little embryos to the warm, loving environment that had been carefully prepared just for them, our surrogate mother’s uterus.

We had finally made it to this point, and now had a two-week wait to anticipate whether we would get to continue on this miraculous journey.

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Two or Three???

God had assisted us up to this point, and we knew that it would take a greater power to take over the process from here. I wanted to implant three embryos, so that our chances of having at least one baby survive would be more likely. Putting in three embryos, didn’t mean that three would take. We were planning on implanting two, and planning for two babies surviving. I was afraid with three that I wouldn’t be able to be there for the babies like I wanted to. And even more scared that I couldn’t physically take care of three babies.

I also knew that I would willingly and ecsatically accept one, two, or three beautiful babies with a smile on my face, and that God wouldn’t give me more than I could handle. If all three did attach and survive, we were all four willing to do what it took for their safety.

The four of us discussed, and Dan and Alice assured me with details of scenarios, of what could happen, and what they would be willing to do if each happened. Dan jokingly said, “If you guyz have three, you can just give us one!”

A peace came over the room and over Alice, Dan, & me. I started becoming more clear, and felt like God was guiding us all. We had made a decision and I felt good and at peace with it.

WE CHOSE TO IMPLANT THREE LITTLE EMBRYOS!!!

What’s Our Lucky Number?/How Many Eggs (Follicles) Did We Get?

There were only five mature eggs (follicles) in my ovaries. Only five?………

I was really hoping, with everything inside of me, that there were seven… What did all this mean? What were we supposed to learn? Why did this happen?

Bursts of anger snuck into my peaceful mind. We could have finished this whole thing with the FIRST cycle. I felt like the previous decisions made about stopping the cycles, had been put on me. So when this happened, I felt like I should have decided to go through with it on the first cycle. It would have saved everyone time, money, and energy. GURRR:(

Gordon reminded me that we had both made the decisions, and that we based it on the professionals’ opinions and our guidance from God. He encouraged me to put away the beating stick and focus on what I had created. He continued by telling me that we wouldn’t be here and wouldn’t be this far in the process if it wasn’t for me and what I strived to accomplish.

What a guy! He helped me find the peace that I worked so hard to keep.

She Is Ready!!!

After about five months, I again let go of the idea of having another baby. I was able to settle down, and get back to my life. I knew that it was still a possibility, and finally became peaceful with the process, details, and how long it would take or if it would even happen. I realize now that each struggle is only an opportunity to be at peace and accept life on a deeper level as it is, and each time it gets better and easier.

I gathered some information about where we wanted to go and what the process even was. I was shocked at how many legalities and stipulations were involved. I tried not to think about them before I absolutely knew that I would have to even deal with them.

About the time that I let go of trying to control the situation, Alice came to me and let me know that she was weaning her girls and would be ready in a few weeks. Isn’t that how it goes?? LOL
Perfect!!!

Intimate Bonding

I really felt at peace with my family, my life, and was continuing finding peace with MYSELF. Isn’t that the kicker?? It’s always the MYSELF, that I struggle with.
Anyway, I was learning and growing in ways I could never imagine. The experiences that I had been through, had alot to teach me when I was willing and ready to learn.

For the next year, surrogacy was rarely discussed. Alice would come to me with a question or a curiosity. She never overstepped my comfort level, and continued to be most respectful.

She had experienced infertility herself for 10 years, so she could relate to me in ways that I needed. She became my safety zone….The more she opened up to me about her experiences, the more I was able to open up to her. We started to bond on a very deep, intimate level.

The Conclusion Around Experience with Destynee’s Pregnancy

18 Months So innocent!
2 Years Old What a DOLL!

As the months went by, I became more and more at peace with what life had to offer me. Of course, I had my bad days, but they became more rare and with less intensity each time. I stopped living in the past and future, and started living right here in the present! My heart is full of tremendous happiness with my more than amazing husband, Gordon, and my piece of heaven on earth, Destynee Noel. She has and will continue to teach me all that I need to learn from her. I believe our children have much more to teach us then we could ever imagine teaching them. We just need to listen and be willing to learn from them.
2 1/2 Years Old Destynee & Mommy!
3 Years Old The Love of Our Lives!!!