Here We Go, Ready Or Not…

“We only need ONE to survive, babe” were the sweet words of my husband. I repeated those few words through my head like a skipped CD. I continued to focus on God, faith, peace, and love. If these were the eggs that might create my baby/babies, I wanted them to know how much I loved and appreciated them…..I wanted it to be a beautiful environment for their (the embryos) inception.

The decision had been made. What a relief and yet so final….

The same day of the last ultrasound, I took a Human Chorionic Gonadotropin (hCG) injection at 9:00 that night. HCG induces/triggers ovulation.
The hCG trigger has several functions:

*Induce final maturation of the eggs
*Cause the resumption of meiosis
*Loosen the egg’s attachment from the follicle wall
*Allows for the timing of the egg retrieval

The goal is to perform the egg retrieval as close as possible to 36 hours after the hCG trigger is given. This meant for me that the egg retrieval would be two days later, 9:00 in the morning. Timing is everything, and so important.

Here we go, ready or not!!!

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Astronomical Costs!!!/Starting AGAIN

The year came and went. Here we were in 2010, the beginning of another year. And starting into another cycle.

January 6th, Alice and I stopped birth control. PHEW!!!! And a few days later, we both started back on our fertility injections.

Each time we started the invitro-surrogate process over with a new cycle, we had to front $3,000 for medications, and $1,500 for labs. We were now $38,000 into it. Only $13,000 more than we planned on….Good shit! And none of it guaranteed a baby!!! If we didn’t get pregnant, we wouldn’t get any of the money back, either. WOW!!!

This amount did not include the three insurance policies/premiums ($250 a month) that we had been paying for our surrogate mother since June 2009.

I felt like we were in way over our heads, and it seemed to sneak up on us. I felt scared to make to next move, for fear of losing EVERYTHING!!!

Second Round/Try Again….

Same routine and same medication, only this time, the doctors increased my dosage. They wanted to again monitor my ovaries close to watch for signs of ovarian hyperstimulation syndrome. It was another $3,000 for all the medications.

I had asked the doctors for a different birth control, letting them know that I was affected badly from the previous kind I was on. They were very willing to change birth control, and it did seem to help. I still had my bad days, but the crazys weren’t as intense.

I had talked with Alice to make sure she was really okay with trying again. She seemed very grateful to give it another shot. Well, several of them actually, lol! Another three weeks of injections, several times a day, for both of us…..

Loving My Ovaries

As my ovaries returned back to normal size, I could still feel that they weren’t strong. It was like they were begging me for help…I didn’t know what they needed, but I had recognized a pattern that I tend to do with my body. When something doesn’t work perfectly, I unconsciously generate negetive thoughts and feelings towards it. I am becoming more aware of it, and I’m wanting to love my body for what it does do for me.

As I recognized and became conscious of the negetive energy I was sending my ovaries, (because I thought they failed me), I immediately knew that I needed to change what I was doing, thinking, & feeling. I began appreciating them for going thru what they did, and for being strong enough to go thru it again. I sent them lots of love and gratitude.

I instantly noticed a difference in how I felt, and how my poor little ovaries felt.

By this time, I didn’t have a whole lot of time before we could start another cycle of medications. Alice and I had been on birth control again for about a month and a half. I had another vaginal ultrasound to see if my ovaries were ready and back to thier normal size, so we could start the fertility injections again.

My ovaries felt fragile, but according to the doctors, I was ready. I was anxious to start again, in hopes that this would be it. I was very excited to get my surrogate mother pregnant.

Needles, Needles, & More Needles

We both had several shots to take every day. Although the medication did burn and itch the site, the shots didn’t seem to bother me.
Alice on the other hand, had been on this rodeo of invitrofertalization with her twin girls, so she was a little more hesitant. She had kinda build up a slight phobia of needles. Can’t blame her….She managed, with the help of her awesome husband, to receive the poke of the dreaded needles several times a day. You go girl!!!

We were on fertility shots for 2-3 weeks. At the beginning of the third week, Alice would have an ultrasound to see how thick her uterus was getting. I had an ultrasound scheduled each day the third week to see how many and how mature my eggs (follicles) were getting. They had to monitor the eggs very closely, because if any of the eggs were out of range (meaning, not mature enough or too mature/too big,) they could not be used. If the eggs got too big or too mature, they would die off.

We’re Making a Baby!/So Many Details

It took about two and a half months to get all the preliminary work done. Now we could actually start the invitro-surrogate process! We’re mak’n a baby!!!

Alice & I had been on birth control for a few weeks, and would be able to start the fertility injections in the next week. We had another appointment with the infertility center to discuss the plan in great detail. We each had our own special medication that would work with our bodies to create the perfect environment for embryos to be created and transferred safely.

Alice’s injections assisted her body in thinking that it was already pregnant. Her uterus would become thick and healthy, so when the embryos are transferred and placed in her uterus, they can attach to an environment created especially for them.

My injections assisted my ovaries in producing several large eggs. When a woman naturally ovulates, she normally releases one egg. They wanted me to produce and release 8-12 large eggs. WOW!

Example: When the eggs are taken out and fertilized, only about 1/3 of them survive. So if 9 eggs are made, only 3 would survive. Those 3 embryos, because now they’re fertilized with the sperm, are transferred in the uterus, and usually only 1/3 of those survive. So you can see why it’s so important to gather so many eggs to begin with. The eggs also have to be mature. Some of the eggs produced, aren’t mature enough to use.

It was more than a delicate situation, and God absolutely had to be the One overseeing every single step.