My Trusted OB Is Leaving!!!/Learning To Trust Again

We saw our OB doctor yesterday. He checked Alice to see how far she was dilated. He said, “Um.. I’ll give you a 1 if you want”. She’s maybe a 1 on dilation and not effaced at all! What? I thought she would at least be a 3…???

The important one, Baby mamma, said, “I won’t be surprised if I go over, I feel too good!”
Well, as long as she is comfortable and content, then I’m great waiting a little longer. Hopefully, she can stay comfortable until her and baby are ready.

Dr. Draper said he wouldn’t be surprised if she was still pregnant when he got back in town. He also told us that, being selfish, he really hoped that Alice would still be pregnant so he could be there.

Back in town!!! What the hell did that mean? Our OB, kindly let us know that he was going to be leaving out-of-town ON our due date, and wouldn’t be back for nine days. What the hell kind of timing is that!!

My mind started spinning in way too many directions. A lot could happen!…. I needed him there!!!
Having Dr. Draper at the delivery, was of the utmost importance to me!!! It is a MUST!!!

I tried to talk him out of going, but unfortunately, it was work related and he had to go. He reassured me that he would communicate to the OB team all the birth plan details, as well as the legalities of the unique surrogacy situation. He told me that the most important things, was for baby mamma and my baby to be safe, and that they would be under great care.

Nothing he said comforted me at all! I could not believe this was happening. Why is this such a big deal?? I felt frantic!!!

After we left, I was able to talk to Alice about it. She’s such an amazing support for me!
I realized that the desperate feelings of needing him there, was coming from my previous experience with my hysterectomy.
After my hysterectomy, I had a lot of thoughts about whether the doctors did everything they could to save my uterus.
Because I knew Dr. Draper, and I KNEW that he did everything he could to save it, those thoughts were alot less intense and didn’t have the power to completely drown me in my sorrows. I had a great relationship with him during my pregnancy with Destynee, and after that, he continued to be an important source of support for me.

I only had the hysterectomy experience to compare to this experience, and I felt scared that another doctor wouldn’t do everything they could to make this experience great.

Well, once again I could not control the situation and got another opportunity to put my trust in God. I knew that He would handle it, and asked that He would allow whatever was in the best interest for everyone involved to happen.

10 more days!!! Jeeze! I am so READY!!! On the other hand, that would mean Dr. Draper would be there, sweet!!! We’ve been working on this pregnancy since June `09, so what’s one more week or 10 days……We can do this!

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Doctors & Decisions/Risks Too High

As the labor progressed, the pain was unbearable, and I was losing ground. I asked for MY OB, Dr. Draper,to be called in. The doctor there told us that it was the middle of the night, one of the worst snow storms, and that he wouldn’t come in. I told them that, if they didn’t page him, I would…….. The doctor came back in and said, “he must really think you’re special, cuz he’s on his way”. It felt so good to be assertive and I knew that he needed to be there. I needed someone I could trust.

The anesthesiologist finally came in and tried 3 different times to get the epidural in. I have scoliosis, and he kept hitting a nerve that shot sharp pain down each of my legs, causing them to go numb. I was having a very hard time holding still, and was in so much pain. I thought he was going to paralyze me…. I was so scared:(

Dr. Draper showed up while the anesthesiologist was still trying. He finally got it in the right spot, but before any medications were administered, my OB wanted to check to see how far I was dilated. We spent alot of time with him during the pregnancy, and he knew how much it meant to us to do everything we could to have it vaginally. I wanted it so badly and he knew it. I wanted to be awake for my baby, and know everything was fine.

He quickly assessed everything and knew it would be too dangerous for baby and mom. Gordon was under a lot of stress & pressure, and felt like he was out of control and there was nothing he could do for me. He called his mom, my parents, and my sister Connie, to let them know what was going on. Because of the snow storm, it took them hours to arrive. Gordon badly needed their support.

I was still only dilated to a 3, sepsis was setting in, and I had maternal heart disease. The baby kept having decels and tachycardia, and was not doing well at all……. He dreadingly told us that we could not wait any longer, and would have to do an emergency c-section. I trusted my OB and I could feel it was the right thing to do.

Because I would have to be put completely out, be intubated, and have a camera (transesophegeal echo) down my throat to monitor my heart, my husband, my biggest support, couldn’t be in the room at all. It was very hard for both of us…… I felt like I failed……

We said our goodbyes and off I went…..

Pre-term Labor/Infection

The cramping continued, and I wasn’t feeling very good at all. By now I was feeling very fluey. I almost wasn’t sure how I was feeling or what was happening. I only knew I didn’t like it, and I knew something was wrong. I didn’t want this to be happening. I was in complete denial.

Gordon could see that something was wrong, and said, “why don’t we have them check the baby again”. The nurse was just here an hour ago, and everything was fine. Concerningly he said, “We are at the hospital to get the help, just call them in to see.”

We called the nurse and they came right away. They had told us earlier that every time I called, they came right away because I rarely called and they knew it was important.

The baby’s heart rate had increased above 200 bpm, and my temperature was up noticeably. Within minutes the staff was running around, I was being rushed to Labor & Delivery, and Gordon was grabbing last-minute things and trying to keep up.

From there I was transferred to a very hard bed. At first I thought the bed was a mistake, it felt like a was lying on cement…. Nope it was for real. Here came the IV’s, nurses, doctors, and anesthesiologist.

It was utter chaos. The infection was so bad, I starting feeling confused and very sick. The doctor said I had sepsis. I felt completely out of it, and couldn’t communicate to get any help. Gordon was trying to help but didn’t have any idea what to do. The contractions didn’t seem to break at all. Occasionally they would ease up a little, long enough for me to breathe. I was waiting for the epidural, and there were 2 other emergencies besides me that night. It seemed like I was waiting forever, and every minute things were getting worse.