Freezing Embryos/Will They Survive?

We had the option to freeze any embryos that survived past 5 days. That way, if the embryos that were implanted in our surrogate mother did not attach and survive, we would have most of the steps done and it would be considerably less money to implant her again. It is another $1,000 to freeze them, but was much less than the $38,000 that we had already fronted.

We knew that three were implanted into Alice, so there were two more we could possibly freeze.

Unfortunately, I got a call from the lab two days after the embryo transfer,…….both of our extra embryos had died………. 😦 😦 😦

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The Embryo Transfer!!!/We made it!!!

(I knew that there was still a chance that none of the embryos would attach and survive, and that if they didn’t, the 7 month long, excruciating process and 40k would be lost…..)

The room we were in had a big screen TV in it, and in the next room were our little want-to-be-babies. The tech magnified what was going on in the next room, and they had it up on the screen so we could see. As he syringed each embryo up, along with the fluid they were in, I had butterflies throughout my body and wanted to scream with excitement!!! Calmly, I watch as he brought them into the doctor, and the doctor transferred my three little embryos to the warm, loving environment that had been carefully prepared just for them, our surrogate mother’s uterus.

We had finally made it to this point, and now had a two-week wait to anticipate whether we would get to continue on this miraculous journey.

Two or Three???

God had assisted us up to this point, and we knew that it would take a greater power to take over the process from here. I wanted to implant three embryos, so that our chances of having at least one baby survive would be more likely. Putting in three embryos, didn’t mean that three would take. We were planning on implanting two, and planning for two babies surviving. I was afraid with three that I wouldn’t be able to be there for the babies like I wanted to. And even more scared that I couldn’t physically take care of three babies.

I also knew that I would willingly and ecsatically accept one, two, or three beautiful babies with a smile on my face, and that God wouldn’t give me more than I could handle. If all three did attach and survive, we were all four willing to do what it took for their safety.

The four of us discussed, and Dan and Alice assured me with details of scenarios, of what could happen, and what they would be willing to do if each happened. Dan jokingly said, “If you guyz have three, you can just give us one!”

A peace came over the room and over Alice, Dan, & me. I started becoming more clear, and felt like God was guiding us all. We had made a decision and I felt good and at peace with it.

WE CHOSE TO IMPLANT THREE LITTLE EMBRYOS!!!

Our Little Embryos/Should They Have a Name?

Now that my eggs and Gordon’s sperm had been mixed together, our little stuff, became embryos. The embryos stayed in the IVF lab for a few more days to see which ones would be the healthiest and strongest. It sounds silly, but it felt like we had left our babies with total strangers, not knowing what was exactly going on with them. It was weird, I didn’t know how to feel or what to think about it…???

The embryo transfer happens 3-5 days after the retrieval, depending on how well they are doing and how fast fertilization occurs.

Two days later, I got a call from the lab where our little embryos were. The tech had been keeping in touch with the infertility doctors. They decided that the embryo transfer needed to happen the next day, because the embryos were becoming more fragile every day. They would pick the best two out of the five to implant.

What did that mean? Were they going to survive?
I tried very hard not to let my mind control me again.

Please Let The Third Time Be The Charm?!?!?

Third week of injections, and again the dreaded vaginal ultrasound….

The first ultrasound showed no response..I was devastated.. The doctor reassured me that they had done the ultrasound earlier than normal to watch for signs of overstimulation with the new medication. I was relieved, but the knot in my stomach wouldn’t go away…

The next ultrasound, I had three good eggs (follicles), and several with good potential…Because this was the final try, I didn’t seem to stress as much. I focused on putting it ALL in God’s hand. I tried to be okay with not getting pregnant at all. It took alot of effort, and wasn’t easy. It took a constant reminder, on my part, to stay peaceful………….

The next day, the ultrasound showed two more, and the biggest eggs had a little room to still be in the safe range. It started feeling like a repeated, bad dream. Very familiar……..I again focused on remaining calm and peaceful.

The anticipation was grualling…Breathe Jess, breathe……

The fourth day, the three biggest eggs were reaching the point of no return………Two more eggs barely made it within the acceptable range. I had seven large eggs…Today was the deciding day, because one more day would cause the three biggest eggs to become not viable (not usable)……………

It was now time to test my estrogen levels to see how many eggs were actually mature……….Labs again and we were sent home to wait for the word……………………………………………….

1,433 was my Estradiol (estrogen) count and the second important number of the day. This meant that if the minimum of 200 were in each egg, then there could be seven mature eggs! If any of the eggs had more in them, then as few as three egg could be mature……..Quite a wide range…How could we ever know?………

Every day felt like a decade…….