Running out of Time, Wahoo!

There is so dang much going on right now, and I’m running out of time. WAHOO!!!

I never thought I would say that. It seemed like we would never get to this point. The surrogate process and the first of the pregnancy took FOREVER…….

We have three weeks left, before we get to meet our miraculous stud, “Gordon Metallic“!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Destynee has been asking where Tal will sleep and where he’s going to sit in the car. She came to me and said, “Mom, I want to give Tal my bed, and I’ll just sleep with you”. And with that, she crawled up by me, and there she stayed the entire night.

I asked her if she would help me organize her dresser, and if Tal could have two of her drawers. She is so generous, but she did have one request, “But mom, can I share one of the drawers WITH him?”
She is so damn cute, I can hardly stand it!!! She is so ready for a sibling!

We’ve been making baby blankets, and rearranging stuff so we can fit all the fun equipment that comes with a new baby into our tiny space. It’s been so much fun. It’s like Christmas times a million, and then even way funner than that!!

First Surrogate Pregnant Family Pictures

Mommy & Gordon Metallic

We Love Our Little Brother

Our Expecting Addition to Our Family & Our Wonderful Baby Mamma!

At our sibling retreat, I got my sister, Stacey, to take some family pictures of us. They turned out so cute, and of course, we had to add humor in the mix.
Dan and Alice Comparing Bellys

Twiner Blankets!!!

I remembered that I had an unfinished boy blanket that I started making way before I was even married. I always thought that I was going to have twins, so I made matching twin blankets for a girl and boy. When I had Destynee, I finished the girl one, and put the other one in storage. I pulled it out and to my surprise, it is almost finished.

I showed Destynee and asked her if she would help me finish the blanket for Metallic? I asked her if she wanted Tal to have a matching blanket like hers. She squealed and said, “then me and Tal could have twiner blankets, same, same!!!”

I guess I can have a twin girl and boy, it’s just a lil’ different and that’s the way I do things. It’s all in how you look at it. Well it gave me a fun idea anyway. Maybe I can find more twiner stuff for them. Sweet!!!

Big Sister/Little Brother

Destynee has been crawling out of her skin with pure excitement about her little baby brother, Metallic! She talks about him all the time and is always asking questions about him. She even nick-named him already, “Tal”. “Where is Tal’s bed? Can he sleep with me? He can use my car seat!” It’s so adorable!!!

The other day, we were eating breakfast; I wanted to prepare her for the reality of having a baby. I explained to her that when the baby is born, we get to bring him home. I emphasized that he would be with us all day, every day. She looked at me with stars in her eyes, and said, “Mom, that makes me so happy! I like real babies, not the fake ones.”

She seems to understand what is going on, and she is at the perfect age to not be confused about the complexity of it. I sometimes feel like I’m more excited for her than for me. I’m excited to see how she interacts with him.

Name For Baby

Sometimes I wonder if finding the perfect name for a child is one of the hardest things to do. It can be something they love or hate about themselves. Your name doesn’t identify who you are as an individual, but to some it can feel like that. He can always change it if he wants, right?
Well enough mumbo, jumbo……

Gordon Metallik!..or Gordon Metallic! is his name for now. Until we see his gorgeous face, we can’t be sure, but he has a name!!! We’re not sure how we want to spell it yet..?

Destynee has been walking around the house saying, “Metallik, Metallik”. She says she likes the name, and “it’s just like daddy!!!”

Timing Is Everything….

Do we tell this baby how he really got here? There is no way to know how he will take it, what will be the best time or the best way to tell him. What a unique life story to tell, will he see the miracle in his life, and love to brag about how special he is, or somehow feel less important or different? Will he think that he’s less than big sister because, “mommy didn’t carry me”? Will he somehow feel like we treat him different than Destynee? Do we keep it a secret, and let him assume that his own mom carried him? Secrets don’t last, then he may feel betrayed.
I never want to keep anything a secret….Especially something so miraculous! As children, we all make up stories in our heads about life and what it’s all about.

As Gordon and I discussed all the options, we decided, that first and formost, there would be no secrets, period! Second, that our child has every right to know what a miracle he is, and about the people who love him and made his life possible. It is his life, right? Not telling him would be denying God’s hand in his life. We decided that we are absolutely going to share that part of his life with him, after all, he choose his path.

I have to be okay with the fact that I cannot controll how he will choose to take it. As his parents, we will do everything we know to support him in having this be a great experience for him.

Now the only question is, when do we tell him, so that he will fully understand, without feeling overwelmed?

Any thoughts???

Little Dani’s Discovery

Before we knew if the baby was a boy or girl, Alice posted this comment:

This morning, as I was sitting on the couch with Dani, the baby started kicking. I decided to ask Dani if she knew there was a baby in my tummy (I haven’t said anything about the baby until now). She lifted up my shirt and said “ya”. I asked her if the baby is a girl or a boy she said “girl”. I then told her it is going to be Destynee’s sister just like she has a sister, she just calmly said “oh, ok”.

Baby Mama

Our Three Girls

Part of the decision to begin this surrogate journey, was to make sure it would be a great experience for everyone involved. Dan and Alice have 2 1/2 year old twin girls, and I have my 3 year old daughter Destynee. It was very important that we timed it just right; that the three girls were old enough, that the pregnancy (for Alice), and having a baby (for me), would not take away from the care and attention that the girls needed from their mommies. It is also important they eventually know the truth, when they are old enough to understand the whole process and see the gift in it.

The three girls are still young enough to be okay with the process, and hopefully won’t be emotionally effected. By talking to all three of them about it, and preparing them for the reality of it, we are hoping that the twins won’t have to wonder, “why their mommy is giving away their baby?”, and for Destynee, “why mommy can’t have her own baby?” They all three seem to be very okay with what’s going on up to this point, and there doesn’t seem to be any confusion in thier minds about it.

Destynee seems to understand enough to be very excited and vocal about it all. She always talks about our baby boy, and about being a big sister. “When he gets big enough, he’s going to pop out of Alice’s belly. I’m going to help my mommy take care of him.” She asks A-Alice if she can feel the baby, and seems to be very comfortable with it.

Dreams Do Come True

After we found out that we were pregnant, but before we knew how many babies there were, my little nephew, Xavier told me about a dream he had. He was very hesitant to tell me, because he didn’t want anything to upset me. He didn’t know if I wanted a boy, or if I would be disappointed that there was only one baby. After talking to his mom, he decided that he was very excited to tell me.

His Dream: Xavier was walking down the hall, and heard laughing in the bedroom. He followed the sound, and found me and Destynee on the bed playing with a baby boy. We were talking to the baby, and making him laugh. Just then, Gordon came in the room. Xavier said he remembered feeling very happy for us, because now Destynee had a little brother and he would have another boy to play with. He was standing in the door way, unsure if he should come in or not, but was enjoying just watching us.

Well, he was right. There is only one, and it is a boy!!!

IT’S A BOY!!!!!!!!!

It’s a BOY!!!!

We are so damn excited! I can hardy wait to meet him. My little stud did cooperate and was very proud of it!!!!
Cute Little Feet!!!

Look at those GUNS!!!

We had a student doing the ultrasound, and she was taking forever…… We told her that we were anxious to find out the gender. It took her 45 minutes to find out. Not because the baby wasn’t cooperating, but because she was slowly finding every other part of his perfect body. For 45 minutes, we all thought she would hurry and tell us. NOPE………
I had accepted the fact that we weren’t going to get to know this time. Little did I know, she was waiting til the last to even look! Oh my hell, talk about torture……… When she finally did tell us, I was ecstatic but had no energy left to express it. On the way home, I regained my excitement, and wanted to scream.

Obviously we would be thrilled with a girl! We have already experienced how amazing and fun girls are, but as I said before, I want to experience both! He is so adorable, he was moving, smiling, and waving at us. The ultrasound took quite a long time. While we were there, Destynee asked what he was saying. I said, “I don’t know, what is he saying?” She looked at me and said, “He said to get off him and leave him alone”. I thought about it, then realized that they had been pushing around for a long time, and that he probably was getting tired of it.