Mommy and Baby Bonding/The Gift of Love

It was killing me not to be able to see my baby, and at the same time, I did not realize how long it had been. All I knew was that I still hadn’t seen my angel. Destynee wasn’t doing well, and neither was I.

The NICU nurses started getting very concerned, because she started going down hill again and they didn’t know why. One of them made it very clear, that she thought that Destynee desperately needed to bond with her mommy. They knew I wasn’t strong enough to walk or even get into a wheelchair.

I remember being so excited, and at the same time, scared to death to see her. I didn’t know if I was mentally or emotionally strong enough to see her. I wanted to be strong for her, and I just wasn’t.

I wanted so bad to hold her, and tell her everything was going to be okay…..She looked so fragile, I barely dared to touch her……. After I left, I felt stronger, yet more torn than ever. I couldn’t bare to be away from her, but I had no choice. I knew that we both had a long way to go before we could really be there for each other.

Gordon came back about an hour later, and excitedly told me, that she was drastically doing better and that her heart calmed right down. The NICU nurses were amazed!!! She stabilized moments after I touched her, and she started progressing rapidly.

Gordon was our sticky glue that kept us all together. He would run from my room, to the NICU and back, all day long. He was our ROCK.

So Resilient!/Bruised Body

Destynee had bruises all over her fragile little body. Her head got the brunt of it. Because she had no water to protect her and was head down (good girl), her head was on my pelvic bone. I could feel it, and I’m sure she could too. She didn’t have any room to move or turn to relieve the pressure. Babies are so resilient!

She seemed to struggle the first day. The first two days, I was mostly unconscious, and I was too weak to go see my baby. I vaguely remember occasionally waking up, and Gordon telling me how she was doing. He always had a new picture to show me.

It’s A GIRL!!!/Destynee Noel’s Arrival

Destynee Noel was born on a Wednesday, November 29th, 2006 at 4:51am, 4lbs. 3oz. 17 1/4 inches long.
She was immediately sent through a window to the NICU who was waiting for her. Because she had a hard time breathing at first, they bagged her, suctioned her, and then after three attemps, she was successfully ventilated. Her lung collapsed when they were reviving her, so they put a chest tube in to keep her lungs open. She was on a breathing machine, antibiotics, given a blood transfusion, and was on several other medications to keep her alive.
Daddy says, “The first time I saw you I was in shock. I thought you looked perfect. I saw all the wires and hoses, and for some reason I was able to look pass that. All I saw was a perfect 4 lb 3 oz baby girl. Mom was so sick, she spent the first 2 days recovering, so I would take pictures of you, and take them to her. There were alot of hoses and wires to help you through your first few days. You’re doing great!”