A Few Words from Baby Mamma..

I feel so excited to receive a comment from the one who is helping make this pregnancy possible, our very own Surrogate Mother.

I have been loving your blog. It’s been so amazing to follow you through your experience with Destynee and to be part of your experience with your new little angel. This journey that I’m on with you and your family has been so exiting and I feel so blessed to be a part of it, I can’t thank you enough for allowing me to be the lucky one that gets to babysit your little angel for 9 wonderful months.

The link for the 3D ultrasounds is so amazing! Thanks for sharing. Love you all with all that’s inside me!
Baby Mama


17 Weeks and Counting!

We are now 17 weeks pregnant, and Alice is just getting over morning sickness. She says is hasn’t been too bad, but everyone knows it’s not ever fun. She always has such a great attitude about everything.

Published in: on September 2, 2010 at 8:15 pm  Leave a Comment  

3-D Video of Baby/Connection

Alice had told me about a website with information about the growth and development of a baby thru pregnancy. It’s called Baby Center. She used it with her twins, and loved it!

It took me awhile to sign up, because I hate getting junk emails and more than that, I didn’t quite know enough about it. It’s crazy and stupid how anything new or unknown is scary. What’s that all about….?

Anyway, I was looking at the website with Destynee, and found a link that showed several 3-D videos of the baby every week of the pregnancy. It was sooo freakin` awesome!!! She loved it, and asked to see it over and over again.

When Gordon got home, she asked if we could watch it with daddy. He loved it and wanted to watch each video.
Pretty soon, me and Destynee were surrounded by daddy, uncles, grandma, and grandpa. We all gazed in amazement of the miracle of life, and were especially interested in the stage of our own baby at 17 weeks. Here’s the link, it’s very cool.


Everyone expressed feeling a strong connection with our baby, and all felt like we were watching our baby grow right before our eyes.
We are all God’s miracles.

Happy Mother’s Day!

Happy Mother’s Day to everyone!!! I literally mean everyone.
Anyone who has had a baby, expecting a baby, or desperately wants a baby.

I use to feel very insignificant on Mother’s Day, like I was a failure in some way. I actually started resenting Mother’s Day and those who celebrated it.
When I finally had my first baby, I remember feeling so excited that I was part of it now. At the same time, I felt very sad for those who couldn’t. Why can’t they, lets celebrate; all of us. The mother in all of us is the same. The only difference, is the different experiences we have gone thru.
No more feeling left out.

XOXO, to the mother in all of us!!!

I took Destynee with me to find something for Alice. The card we picked had a place where we could record something personally, and then had a song with it. Destynee especially liked the card, “cuz our baby will love pink”. We got our Baby Mamma a card, cotton candy (that she was craving), and rich chocolate for Happy Surrogate Mother’s Day.

Leaving to Soon :(

Back in March, Dan, Alice, and the twiners had stayed with us for a few weeks. It was awesome! I took advantage of the situation, and really practiced connecting with my baby. It was fun to have them so close. Plus, she is a wonderful cook.

I am continually overwhelmed by the love I feel for her and from her. She continually tells me what an honor it is for her to be able to do this for me. Although I can not fully grasp the magnitude of her gratefulness, I am constantly engulfed by mine.

I could have been very okay with all of them staying for good, and I felt sad when they left.


About a month ago I noticed that I was feeling myself disconnect to the idea of being pregnant. Guilt and confusion came into my consciousness. Why was I trying to forget about the fact that I am going to have a baby? We have worked so hard for this amazing miracle. I pondered about all the feelings I was having, and discovered that I hadn’t fully accepted the fact that I AM energetically pregnant. I had let myself be confused about how strange and unnatural this all was. What if all the strange, unfamiliar senses, thoughts, and feelings I was having, were all normal pregnant symptoms…..?

I discovered that another part of the disconnect, was the fear around the baby not making it. I couldn’t bare the thought of getting attached to a baby that I might not get to hold. I subconsciously was disconnecting to it all.

How could I disconnect to such an amazing opportunity and miracle?
A freind helped me get clear about where all the confusion was coming from. She helped me realize that we are energetically connected now, and that if I was feeling so weird, then my Surrogate Mother might be too.

I’m actually going to have my very own baby!!! Every morning and night, I put my hands on my belly, and feel and talk to the baby as if it were inside me. I really do love the thought of having another baby, and I’m excited to reconnect with my little angel.

I immediately scheduled some time connect with my angel, spend time with my Baby Mamma, and make sure they were both feeling supported.

13 Week Ultrasound

Our ultrasound went well… Actually it went better than well, it was amazing!
My little peanut DID grow arms and legs.. Wahoo!!!

Alice got to meet my amazing OB. She said she was very comfortable with him, and felt like he honored and respected each individual’s role.
He paid attention to the whole dynamic of the pregnancy, and was excited to be working with us.

I’m so excited, because I remember the importance of having him with my first pregnancy.

Ultrasound Tomorrow

Our ultrasound is tomorrow, and awesome bonus!!! My Baby Mamma is coming to stay with me for the rest of the week.
I’m looking forward to some chill time with my babies.


We have our 2nd ultrasound coming up in less than a week! The lil’ peanut will be 13 weeks, and we should be able to see a baby, not a peanut.
Don’t get me wrong, I love peanuts, but I love it more when peanuts grow arms and legs!

I’m so freaking excited!!!

It’s My Birthday!!!

So yesterday I had my 28th birthday! It was the first year that I was excited to be a year older.
I feel like I earned it. I have had alot of challenges that have come with alot of miracles in my short lil’ life. I think I actually feel 28.

My very special friend, Ruth, had a wonderful dinner for my birthday. My parents, husband, baby girl Destynee, and Baby Mamma was there, which means my sweet little 11 1/2 wk. size of a grape baby was there too!!!

Miracles! Miracles!