The Waiting Game/Holiday Break???

I started back on medications to calm and quiet my ovaries AGAIN, and Alice and I both started back on birth control AGAIN…… Stupid birth control! I felt like it was controlling my life….I wasn’t myself when I was on it.

The doctors had mentioned that they had one more drug they could add to the mix right at the end of the next cycle. It was supposed to super-boost everything, but could be dangerous. They stressed that this would be the last cycle that they would recommend. If it didn’t work next time, they didn’t have any other ideas……

As Alice and I waited again for our bodies to regulate so we could start another cycle process, I tried very hard to forget about all of it for a minute… I wanted to just BE with my family through the holidays and enjoy what I DID have….I had completely exhausted myself, and needed a serious break…………

Right at the beginning of the surrogate process, I had committed be present with my daughter and to stay conscious about not pushing Destynee aside while we were trying to get pregnant. I felt like I was staying pretty focused on her during the preliminary work and during the first cycle, but I realized that through all the stress of the second cycle, I wasn’t as present as I wanted to be with her.

In the back of my mind, I was scared about what the final outcome would be, but for the most part, I was able to reconnect with my adorable daughter, Destynee, and my amazingly, supportive husband, Gordon.

I managed, at times, to find peace about what was going on. This time I embraced the month and a half break for my ovaries. I continued to support them, and through inspiration, gave them what I thought they needed to be strong.

Alice and her family spent Christmas with us. We had a great time and were able to talk a lot about what we were both going through.


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