Am I Ever Going To Be Successful?:(

Because the risk of losing our $25,000 if we decided to go ahead with the egg retrieval using these eggs and they didn’t make it, and knowing that we wouldn’t be able to start the process over, we took the advice from the doctors, and stopped the process, AGAIN…..

Here we were in the middle of November, five frik’n months from when we first started, and I felt like we were running into the same, damn, brick wall. We were supposed to be two months pregnant by now! (Here I went with the supposed to’s and trying to control everything again)…..What the fuck did I miss? (sorry, no other word fit) What was I not seeing? What did I need to learn to move on?…….. I felt like I was the one holding the whole thing back… I was the one not working!!!!

My husband was very supportive, and appreciated me for what I had gone through and what an amazing job I was doing. He reminded me that we felt we were guided and directed by God, and that everything happens for a reason. I did feel like we were working very close with God through all of this, and tried to let go of what I thought was supposed to be happening and how it should look.

I went home and dreadingly called Alice to let her know what had been decided. She was very understanding, and managed to be there for me as a sister and a friend who ABSOLUTELY KNEW what I was going through. I don’t know what I would have done without her. She listened to me cry, and comforted me in ways no one else could.


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