Starting Our Medications/Birth Control

The infertility center first put both Alice & I on birth control pills, so they could control and synchronize our cycles. We had to be synched very closely, because once they retrieved the eggs from me, they only had three days to put them into Alice. Her uterus had to be very ready to accept my fragile little eggs.

I was so excited to start. It felt like we had made a huge step in the process. We were now actually beginning the process to make a baby!!!

As soon as I started on the birth control, I started feeling completely insane. I tried to hold it together, and pretend that I calmly had everything under control…..Inside, I was going out of my mind. I couldn’t figure out why I was trying to have a baby while I was so unstable… And strangely enough, I wasn’t sure why I felt so unstable. Like the crazys snuck up on me….I didn’t know what to do, and I didn’t know whether I could pull off everything that had to be done in order to succeed in surrogacy, in having another baby. I often wondered why I was continuing the process, and at what point I would give up…..

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