Weaving Between Stipulations

For about a month, it felt like we were being pulled in way too many directions at the same time. We would take one step with the infertility center, then have to take one step in the legal process, and then back to a lab or test or screening. Back and forth, back and forth, and dead-lines and time sensitive things all over the place. I needed to be more than one person, and I felt like everything was weighing on me to line everything up perfectly.

There were several places in the process that problems would arise and damn near stop the whole thing. Just to mention a few:

The courts needed a letter from our OB/GYN, stating that in his professional opinion, Alice could carry a baby without posing health problems to her or the baby. He didn’t know her or her previous pregnancy, and didn’t have any of her records. He only knew that she delivered her twins at 29 weeks. He was hesitant.
Trying to get Dr. Draper all of her records from her previous pregnancy and delivery, was more than a challenge. The office would say that they sent all the records, a week would go by, and I would stress and wonder why Dr. Draper hadn’t written the letter, cuz he knew we needed it by a certain date. When I called his office, they would say they didn’t receive anything, or they only received part. We did this back and forth about five times until the dead-line came and went. I wanted to drive wherever the hell her records were, and knock some sense into the people down there. I was furious! I’m not sure when or even how all the records finally made it down to Dr. Draper’s office, but thank God they did!

Another legality, was that the surrogate mother could not be receiving any assistance from the state or government. Alice’s smallest preemie was on Medicaid because of how small she was at birth. The paperwork that had to be researched and reviewed just for that was unbelievable. I didn’t know which way it was going to go. She was very close to having to cancel Medicaid (health insurance for her daughter). I didn’t want to make Alice change anything so permanent for the sake of my dreams. I was ready to stop the process completely….

Once our attorney was assigned a judge for us, he warned us that that judge was very particular and would require all four of us to appear in court. Also she would require child protective services to do a six-week, in-house monitoring of us with our families. It would have put us out another month, several hundred dollars, and invasion of privacy beyond belief. That’s what they do to couples who are planning to adopt a child, and some judges require it with surrogacy as well. I couldn’t believe that they could do that to us! We just want our OWN baby!!! GOOD HELL!!!

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