Doctors & Decisions/Risks Too High

As the labor progressed, the pain was unbearable, and I was losing ground. I asked for MY OB, Dr. Draper,to be called in. The doctor there told us that it was the middle of the night, one of the worst snow storms, and that he wouldn’t come in. I told them that, if they didn’t page him, I would…….. The doctor came back in and said, “he must really think you’re special, cuz he’s on his way”. It felt so good to be assertive and I knew that he needed to be there. I needed someone I could trust.

The anesthesiologist finally came in and tried 3 different times to get the epidural in. I have scoliosis, and he kept hitting a nerve that shot sharp pain down each of my legs, causing them to go numb. I was having a very hard time holding still, and was in so much pain. I thought he was going to paralyze me…. I was so scared:(

Dr. Draper showed up while the anesthesiologist was still trying. He finally got it in the right spot, but before any medications were administered, my OB wanted to check to see how far I was dilated. We spent alot of time with him during the pregnancy, and he knew how much it meant to us to do everything we could to have it vaginally. I wanted it so badly and he knew it. I wanted to be awake for my baby, and know everything was fine.

He quickly assessed everything and knew it would be too dangerous for baby and mom. Gordon was under a lot of stress & pressure, and felt like he was out of control and there was nothing he could do for me. He called his mom, my parents, and my sister Connie, to let them know what was going on. Because of the snow storm, it took them hours to arrive. Gordon badly needed their support.

I was still only dilated to a 3, sepsis was setting in, and I had maternal heart disease. The baby kept having decels and tachycardia, and was not doing well at all……. He dreadingly told us that we could not wait any longer, and would have to do an emergency c-section. I trusted my OB and I could feel it was the right thing to do.

Because I would have to be put completely out, be intubated, and have a camera (transesophegeal echo) down my throat to monitor my heart, my husband, my biggest support, couldn’t be in the room at all. It was very hard for both of us…… I felt like I failed……

We said our goodbyes and off I went…..

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