Gett’n Ready/Washing All the Baby Outfits

Today we get to wash up all the fun clothes we got from our shower! And fill up the wap’n two drawers that I have for the new baby.

My sisters all like to just pass around the big stuff for babies, like swings, bouncers, bassinets, etc. We do that, because first of all, who wants to store all of that big equipment when you’re not using it, and hard to buy all of the big stuff when you’re only having a few kids, like me. It has made it very nice and convenient for all of us. And now it’s my turn, how fun!!!
I now have everything except a bouncer and toys.

When we bought a car-seat, stroller, and play ‘n pack for Destynee, I wanted to get a color that we could use for either boy or girl. It’s green with little lambs all over it. So I already have all that too!!

All I need to do now, is pack my diaper bag so it’s ready for the hospital. Wahoo!!! Here we come! Well, any day now!

Baby Shower for Gordon Metallic

I took Destynee, and told her she got to unwrap all of Tal’s presents because he couldn’t unwrap them. She was absolutely loving it!!!, that is for about ten presents. I think once she realized that most were just clothes, and that they weren’t for her, which I pre-warned her about, she slowly began to lose interest….

We had so much fun, and it turned out so perfect. I’m so excited to go through all the outfits again! It’s fun all over again.

Two of my cousins were so amazingly thoughtful, and brought Destynee a garanimals matching game. She thought that was pretty cool! We’ve already played it seven times today!

Thank You Everybody!!!

First Surrogate Pregnant Family Pictures

Mommy & Gordon Metallic

We Love Our Little Brother

Our Expecting Addition to Our Family & Our Wonderful Baby Mamma!

At our sibling retreat, I got my sister, Stacey, to take some family pictures of us. They turned out so cute, and of course, we had to add humor in the mix.
Dan and Alice Comparing Bellys

What’s Important?

Over the weekend, Alice and her girls came up to spend some time with us. It is always nice to have alone time with her. It gave us the opportunity to talk about the birth and delivery.

I started assuming how everything would go, and felt very nervous about it. I wondered if I would be able to support her and be there for her in ways she needed. I had been trying to plan and figure out how the whole thing would play out. Again, the problem was lack of communication. We just hadn’t made time for it until now. We wrote out our birth plan, and discussed everything in detail. Most importantly, about what each of us wanted and what was most important to both of us.

Planning the Birth/Communication

It seems like each hypnobirth class becomes easier. I don’t feel as awkward, and I feel like I’m in the right place. It’s only as awkward as you make it, right?

I feel more and more comfortable about how the birth is going to go. I think just being able to discuss what Alice and I, do and don’t want, has been extremely helpful. Until now, I have only had my crazy mind to assume how it’s going to go, what I’m going to do, how I can support her, and if she’s going to be okay.

Alice is easily able to go with the flow. I am a big communicator, and an even bigger planner. Lucky, she knows this about me, and is very willing to discuss and plan to my heart’s desire. If it’s something that she’s not sure about how she will feel or what she will need, she simply says, “I’m not sure, I will let you know when it comes up”. Living in the moment!, I am definitely learning a thing or two from her:)

Timing Is Everything….

Do we tell this baby how he really got here? There is no way to know how he will take it, what will be the best time or the best way to tell him. What a unique life story to tell, will he see the miracle in his life, and love to brag about how special he is, or somehow feel less important or different? Will he think that he’s less than big sister because, “mommy didn’t carry me”? Will he somehow feel like we treat him different than Destynee? Do we keep it a secret, and let him assume that his own mom carried him? Secrets don’t last, then he may feel betrayed.
I never want to keep anything a secret….Especially something so miraculous! As children, we all make up stories in our heads about life and what it’s all about.

As Gordon and I discussed all the options, we decided, that first and formost, there would be no secrets, period! Second, that our child has every right to know what a miracle he is, and about the people who love him and made his life possible. It is his life, right? Not telling him would be denying God’s hand in his life. We decided that we are absolutely going to share that part of his life with him, after all, he choose his path.

I have to be okay with the fact that I cannot controll how he will choose to take it. As his parents, we will do everything we know to support him in having this be a great experience for him.

Now the only question is, when do we tell him, so that he will fully understand, without feeling overwelmed?

Any thoughts???

Our Three Girls

Part of the decision to begin this surrogate journey, was to make sure it would be a great experience for everyone involved. Dan and Alice have 2 1/2 year old twin girls, and I have my 3 year old daughter Destynee. It was very important that we timed it just right; that the three girls were old enough, that the pregnancy (for Alice), and having a baby (for me), would not take away from the care and attention that the girls needed from their mommies. It is also important they eventually know the truth, when they are old enough to understand the whole process and see the gift in it.

The three girls are still young enough to be okay with the process, and hopefully won’t be emotionally effected. By talking to all three of them about it, and preparing them for the reality of it, we are hoping that the twins won’t have to wonder, “why their mommy is giving away their baby?”, and for Destynee, “why mommy can’t have her own baby?” They all three seem to be very okay with what’s going on up to this point, and there doesn’t seem to be any confusion in thier minds about it.

Destynee seems to understand enough to be very excited and vocal about it all. She always talks about our baby boy, and about being a big sister. “When he gets big enough, he’s going to pop out of Alice’s belly. I’m going to help my mommy take care of him.” She asks A-Alice if she can feel the baby, and seems to be very comfortable with it.

Dan’s Pregnant Wife

Alice’s husband Dan has been such an amazing support. He is always making light of the situation, and making things fun. When people ask him about his family, he tells them “I have two and one on the way”. When they congratulate him, he says “why are you congratulating me, it’s not mine”. He just calmly tells them that another guy knocked her up. For as long as he can keep a straight face, he loves it up….If you knew Dan, you would know how calm he really could be about it. He loves to get a reaction. He eventually tells them that his wife is carrying her sister’s baby. After they sort it out for a while in their heads, they are always astounded and amazed that they would be apart of something so wonderful.

He has been so supportive and helpful to her. Infact, he without knowing it, got wrapped into being her personal runner boy when she has a craving. He’s the bomb!!! He occasionally calls Gordon and reminds him that he’s doing Gordon’s dirty work. Gordon did infact originally sign up for the job. It really seems to help Gordon stay connect to the baby. It’s quite comical, the relationship the two of them have.

Intimate Bonding

I really felt at peace with my family, my life, and was continuing finding peace with MYSELF. Isn’t that the kicker?? It’s always the MYSELF, that I struggle with.
Anyway, I was learning and growing in ways I could never imagine. The experiences that I had been through, had alot to teach me when I was willing and ready to learn.

For the next year, surrogacy was rarely discussed. Alice would come to me with a question or a curiosity. She never overstepped my comfort level, and continued to be most respectful.

She had experienced infertility herself for 10 years, so she could relate to me in ways that I needed. She became my safety zone….The more she opened up to me about her experiences, the more I was able to open up to her. We started to bond on a very deep, intimate level.

The Conclusion Around Destynee’s Pregnancy

18 Months So innocent!
2 Years Old What a DOLL!

As the months went by, I became more and more at peace with what life had to offer me. Of course, I had my bad days, but they became more rare and with less intensity each time. I stopped living in the past and future, and started living right here in the present! My heart is full of tremendous happiness with my more than amazing husband, Gordon, and my piece of heaven on earth, Destynee Noel. She has and will continue to teach me all that I need to learn from her. I believe our children have much more to teach us then we could ever imagine teaching them. We just need to listen and be willing to learn from them.
2 1/2 Years Old Destynee & Mommy!
3 Years Old The Love of Our Lives!!!